The wonder of living: response to a health crisis

Last May, a Winnipeg woman suddenly found herself completely dependent on health care professionals for her daily life. She has high praise for what the system offers in her situation. On the facing page, see the perspective of a physician.

After three months in hospital, followed by ten weeks convalescing at home, Deirdre Friesen (49) of Winnipeg has only good things to say about the medical services she received. As for the support of her family and church, she says simply, "I couldn't imagine anything better."

Friesen shared her story from her bed recently, now centred in the living room of her home. Her eyes are bright, still reflecting the light-hearted banter that swirled around the room earlier as Patty, her "wonderful" public health nurse, and Lily, her "cherished" home-care worker, accompanied her through her daily rituals.

She skims over the difficult aspects of her illness and moves quickly toward the wonder of living right now.

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"Up until last May," she begins, "I was feeling perfectly healthy with no symptoms, only a little bloating, but then I went to the doctor to check out some breathing concerns. The doctor found fluid in my lungs and around the heart. He diagnosed 4th stage ovarian cancer and told me I didn't have long to live."

She underwent emergency procedures to remove the fluids. Then she had a stroke.

"The doctors said I would never walk again. Nor move my arm. Everyone prayed for me. Nothing changed for the first couple of months. I didn't make any progress. And my husband, Rob, didn't talk to me about the dying part. I couldn't handle it at the time.

"The doctors were very innovative. They couldn't do surgery because of the stroke, so they used an 'old style' chemotherapy which helped to reduce the tumours and cleared up the fluid in my lungs. All along, the medical team was very responsive to what we wanted.... They took seriously what I said, even when all I could do was nod."

After three months, she came home. The hospital arranged home-care services for five days a week, daily visits from a nurse to change dressings and twice-weekly visits from a physiotherapist. She has high praise for her home-care worker.

"She anticipates my every need. She exercises with me, cooks my meals, bathes me, does my laundry, takes me for hour-long wheel chair rides, etc. I feel very close to her. She's very professional....

"And all of these services are paid for by the Manitoba government.... I don't even want to think of what my life would have been like without this kind of care."

Charleswood Mennonite Church, which the family recently started attending, has been wonderful, say Friesen.

"They pitched right in, even though they didn't know us that well. They still bring in meals three times a week.... I don't know how much more supportive the church could possibly have been."

About three weeks after she came home from hospital, her oldest daughter, Kalynne, said she wanted to "pray really hard" that her mother would be able to move again. The next day, a friend who was visiting said, "Deirdre, you just moved your thumb!!" Then Friesen moved her fingers, and five weeks later, her right leg "feels almost normal."

Her eyes glisten as she says, "I think it's the power of prayer that did this for me." With the help of the physiotherapist, who comes twice a week, she is beginning to walk.

"You have to have that mindset.... I want to be well. You have to fight. And the supports that are provided are very important." Her two daughters were traumatized by what happened but are now doing well.

"Soon after I came home, Rachel, 9, asked whether I'd walk by Christmas. I said, no, I don't think so. A few weeks later I'm starting to walk!"

"This experience with illness has changed my life entirely," says Friesen. "Now I deeply appreciate the important things in life--family, church, and so on. Material things are not important any longer."

Her inspiration comes from prayer. "And my husband has been tremendous.... I couldn't do this without him."

It has helped seeing progress. "At first I had a feeling of being trapped in my bed. Since I began to move, and started to walk, that feeling has gone away. Now I have goals; I want to get back to normal."

What's the future? "They've treated the cancer with chemotherapy which was very effective," she says. "Possibly later there'll be a hysterectomy. It's dangerous after a stroke." But for now, each day is a miracle. And her dreams include simple things like being able to move back into her bedroom and having a folding wheelchair for when she goes for drives with her family.